I’ve been thinking about doing some coaching through Life Stoked lately. I’m passionate about helping people succeed and it’s something I’m good at too. But then I thought some more…
What if I put myself out there as a coach and it doesn’t work out? Suddenly LifeStoked.com isn’t a resource helping people succeed, it’s a place to get pitched to. My readers and fans would all abandon me because that’s not at all what they signed up for.
My friends at work would probably get wind of it too. Wait, so this guy is a coach now? I thought he was helping us grow Invodo. We don’t need that kind of disloyalty here!
I’d be “let go,” to go find work that’s better suited to my desires which of course would be hard!
We’d probably miss a few mortgage payments before we finally gave up and sold the house hoping families would be willing to take us in.
All because I thought helping people succeed one-on-one could be a fun.
What Happened Here?
During which paragraph of that downward spiral did you start rolling your eyes? Second? Third? It’s crazy right?
Right. But just because it was so easy for you to recognize my paranoia and fear through that story doesn’t mean you’re not telling yourself these same stories. Jon Acuff said it best:
“I feel like I’m one bad decision away from hobo.”
I had to laugh when I heard that because I know exactly what he’s talking about. I fought through that feeling a hundred times. I fought it to launch this blog. I fought it to start Bedrock Coaching. I fought it to leave old jobs and start new jobs.
Of course the list of things I never did because of that feeling is much much longer.
The fear of failure tries to get you to believe that your actions are forever.
- Jon Acuff
Being Realistic
My wife and I have been laughing about this feeling a lot lately with some big decisions we’ve been making. It helps a lot just to acknowledge that fear and understand that it’s inevitable.
It’s our brains at work.
David Rock explains in Your Brain at Work that our brains will try anything to avoid uncertainty. They will conjure up terrifying probabilities to keep things the same. They will lie to us, deceive us, and persuade us to thinking that staying the same is the wise choice.
Outsmarting Yourself
And so you have to use the right word when you’re trying new things. Instead of “starting” something new, it’s time to “experiment.”
Calling something an experiment removes “forever” from your thinking and frees you to fail without consequence. If it doesn’t work out, no big deal. It was just an experiment. Just something I was trying on to see how it fits.
I can experiment with coaching. I can experiment with new ideas at Invodo. I can experiment with anything.
I can feel a new energy in old, tired ideas I’ve had chained to the fence for months. I’m excited about new experiments.
What about you? Have you ever felt like you were one bad decision away from hobo?
Loved this article Deacon – one the biggest potential barriers to success is a negative mindset. I’m not saying we should all be taking reckless risks, but there has to come a point at which you take the jump. Yes, making big decisions can result in mistakes, but that’s life. I’d much rather have a go and fail than simply accept the status quo. In failing, I have taught myself some very useful lessons.
Agreed Tom! My DISC personality profile says my natural tendency is “ready, ready ready” instead of “ready, aim, fire.” It’s something I ALWAYS have to be working on and think about even for little things like clicking the publish button.
I’ve got two “experiment” ideas right now that I’m going to start on in September. Just experiments, no big deal…